I enjoy finding beauty in the mundane, silliness in each day, and dandelions all year round. I like to travel barefoot and feel temperatures and textures beneath my feet. I’m very scent sensitive, and the aromas that just make me come alive are from rain, summer nights, fresh coffee, early spring, warmth, the ocean, the cinnamon smell of fallen leaves, and Jordan. I am the Bride of Christ, and sitting at the feet of my Jesus is just the most wonderful feeling.
Dear Jordan,
You turned me into a tea snob and junkie. Love you more than Eastern Beauty Oolong in a Smucker’s peanut butter jar.
A eulogy, of sorts
Twelve years ago, my grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. For those who don’t know, Alzheimer’s is a progressive and deteriorating dementia most commonly associated with memory loss, though it also causes behavior and mood disturbances, confusion, personality changes, cognitive decline, and eventually loss of function. These symptoms are caused by plaques, nerve cell death, and tangled nerve fibers in the brain.
To give you an idea of what this looks like, about five years ago, my grandma and my sister were looking through some photos. Though my sister tried to reason with her, my grandma was convinced that my sister’s high school graduation pictures were, in fact, her own. (I don’t think they looked much alike.) Six years ago, my grandma would sometimes kick my grandpa out of the house because she thought he was an intruder. He would drive the car around the block and pull into the garage, and she’d say, “Where have you been?” Then, after a while, when he’d head towards the car, or even the coat closet in winter, she’d accuse him of trying to take her father’s jacket or hat or car. He’d wait outside in the snow for ten minutes before coming back inside. Sometimes she’d be crying and forget why, which would make her upset because she didn’t know what was wrong.
About four years ago, she moved into an Alzheimer’s unit at a nursing home, where their care is phenomenal and she was much safer than at home. Sometimes she would recognize my mom and her brother; others she would not. I’m not sure when she last knew who her children were, or if she even had any. Many times she would forget my grandpa, but every so often, she would say an honest and rare “I love you” to him.
This morning, my sweet grandma passed away in her sleep, and though it may seem harsh, I was glad to hear it. My grandma passed from her world of confusion (albeit blissful emptiness for her recently) and difficulty. One moment, she did not know who she or anyone around her were. The next? In the presence of Almighty God, not only aware of who she is, but confident and found in her identity as Christ’s redeemed. Is that not the most beautiful thing? She is whole, worshiping the Creator she was made to serve, no longer a shadow of her younger self. Beautiful and strong and radiant and whole. I am rejoicing that she is home with the Father.
I love my grandma very much, and I am reminded of her goodness and goofiness and generosity with a few little things: Mint Medley tea, I Love Lemon! tea, Cool Whip, handbags, Keds, Methuselah, her old Bible, holidays, and her diamond which sits in my engagement band.
This is from four and a half years ago:
“To truly know God we must long for Him without any other motive than reaching God Himself”
-Tozer
Today we said goodbye for 135 days.
Don’t judge the blurriness; I don’t have a very steady hand.
Toddler received world’s smallest artificial heart as he waited for a transplant
Italian doctors have saved the life of a 16-month-old boy by implanting the world’s smallest artificial heart to keep the infant alive until a donor was found for a transplant.
The tiny titanium pump weighs only 11 grams and can handle a blood flow of 1.5 liters a minute. An artificial heart for adults weighs 900 grams.
Surgeon Antonio Amodeo said the baby had become family and his team wanted to do everything to help him.
“Every day, every hour, for more than one year he was with us. So when we had a problem we couldn’t do anything more than our best,” he said. (Photo: Alessandro Bianchi/Reuters)
(Source: nationalpost, via nurse-on-duty)
Solitary
Today I learned a little bit about being alone. After class, I went swimming. Just me and the lifeguards. This evening, I finally got to go see the Avengers. I went alone. I was really pumped because I’ve been wanting to see a movie by myself for a few years now, just for fun. What I did not anticipate, however, was that I’d be the only person in theater 4 watching the Avengers, or that I’d be the only one left in the entire building after it was over. Now, I’m sure there was an employee somewhere, but I saw no one. Can anyone say “Halloween Boy Meets World episode meets the movie theater”? Creeped. Out. Only one other car in the parking lot. Note to self: Next time you want to go to a movie by yourself, make sure it’s at a theater people actually go to.
